Chlamydia?

So it's been awhile since I have blogged. I have just had writers block and haven't had anything to blog about. You think I would just because my life is pretty eventful. Well I am happy to announce a recent event that has happened. Let me just paint a pretty picture for you. The other day I was sitting at work, when one of my coworkers suggested we get Groves Market for lunch. Love that place right? Wrong. Tomatoes. Tomatoes ruin everything. To me anyway. I opened up my sandwich and it was smothered in mushy gross tomatoes. WTF. How hard is it to not put tomatoes on something. Like seriously follow your paying customer's instructions. Anyways the entire sandwich was ruined. I could not eat it. I did manage to eat some of the bottom part after I scraped everything off. We are talking the avocado, the onions, the pickles. Everything had to be thrown in the trash. Ugh I am sick just thinking of it. Well this just ruined my day and only caused me to be even more hungry. HANGRY. I was hangry. So I texted my good friend Tottie about the unfortunate event. Explaining to her how upset I was and how I am starving and what not. Keep in mind she is Spanish (I had to throw that in there.) So she texts me back and says,"Eat some Comida." I was like what the heck is comida? So I ask my friend Mary at work what Comida was. Yeah don't worry that everyone thought I said, "What is Chlamydia?" Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. Oh man. Wow. Bright red. Office = Uproar = Making Tottie's day! Glad I can provide everyone entertainment!! The end.

WTF

WHAT THE FUH??????? Is this really your album cover. Like are you a female pop star from 1987? Hahahahahahahahahahaha I am embarrassed for you. And I think I hate you even more.

I will get you one day....

I love Pickles. Mmmmmmmmm.

Ugh

Guy walks in, "Hey are you guys hiring?" No we're not. "Oh okay then, thank you." Your welcome. Guy leaves. Door Shuts. Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. What's so funny you ask. His shirt said 5 Dollar Foot Long with an arrow pointed downwards to his man parts. How inappropriate!!!!!!

Smells good.

It's not everyday that your supervisor calls you at your desk and says "Hey come smell my office." Um okay. Smells like Cucumber. Nice.

Blahh

I hate tomatoes. I hate them. I made the mistake of telling my coworker Matt that I hate them. So what did he do. He picked up a tomato and shoved it in his mouth. Gross. Thanks Matt for grossing me out at such an early time in the morning.

Don't judge me.

Laying on your bed at night with your clothes on, makeup on, and not setting your alarm clock + waking up 10 minutes before you have to be at work, putting on flip flops, running out the door in less than a minute = Kimba looking like death the entire day.

Obsessed Much?......Yes.

I can't seem to get enough. WOW.

Coco we were born to do this!! Bollywood or Bust!!

Come Back To Me Now

For me, summertime and I have a love hate relationship. I love the outdoors. I love it. This summer I have decided to take advantage of living in one of the greatest states, with some of the greatest outdoor activities. I love all the Hiking, Golfing, Boating, Traveling, Fishing, Camping, etc. All that is great stuff. I just love being outdoors. That is what I love. Now that is the love portion of this blog. Now for the Hate portion. Hmmm what do I hate more than anything in this world. HEAT. Ughhhhhh THE HEAT. I can't stand the heat. Being hot makes me so irritable and crazy. Warm temperatures can bring out the worst in me. Sleeping and Waking up in the heat. Walking in the heat. Eating in the heat. Goo Ghu Glah.

All the sweating. Bleeeek. The sweating. Let me just emphasize how much I hate being hot. It is the worst feeling....ever! I know most of you are probably thinking that I am crazy but come on. Any sweating outside of physical activity just irks me to the core! Yeah, that was just said. Seriously I hate leaving my nice cool house, or getting out of my ice box of a car, and walking into a heat wave. Plus you know what comes with Summer? Allergies. Don't get me started with Allergies. Awful. Just awful. Talk about per misery. Heat. Sweat. Sneezing.

Phase 1. The Dreaded Anticipation. Oh no, Look at the light, oh no,

oh no, oh no.......

Phase 2. Here it comes, Ahh, OMG, It's gonna hurt, Ah Ahhhh Ahhh

Phase 3. Explosion

Well that was graceful. Fall, SNOW, Winter, COLD, I miss you. PWEEEEEEEEASE COME BACK TO ME NOW!!!!

Please...Stare at me longer THANX

So in case you haven't noticed, it has been quite awhile since my last post. I have been extremely lazy in the whole blogging world. Those of you that know me might think to yourself, oh I bet Kimba is going to blog about going to the Britney Spears concert, or rockin out with No Doubt. Maybe even about seeing fantastic musicals like Wicked or Miss Saigon. Yes those were all frigg'n amazing experiences that I have enjoyed so far this year. Yes you should be jealous. And yes I will forever talk about those events. But that is not what has brought me back to the blogging world. What has brought me back to the blogging world is Durt. Not Dirt, but Durt. I know what your thinking, Kim WTF? Let me fill you in. I work at Ace Disposal, Inc. Ya know the garbage trucks? Love it. At Ace I am the front desk. With that, I get to have contact with everyone that walks through the door. EVERYONE. There are those that come for meetings with management, people selling stuff, customers coming in to pay bills, and my favorite.....APPLICANTS. I cannot express to you how great it is to have something so awkward happen to me, and be able to tell others about it. Mainly my bestie Cocoum. Without fail every thing that happens at work, Coco will get an email from me literally as it is happening. Her response...."How have you not blogged about this yet?" Which made me think. I should be sharing my stories...... The easiest way to share this with you, is in what I like to call another one of my lists. Therefore, I give you.....The top ten awkward/creepy/stupid, comments applicants have said, questions they have asked, and weird moments that have made my experience at the front desk worthwhile:)

10. "Ma'am this says to list my address, should I write down the address where I live?" (No sir, write down the address of where your best friend's cousin lives, Come on)


9. "Wait, you have a lady hiring all the drivers here?" ?????uh??????


8. Go ahead and take a seat while you fill this out. "No I will stand, I write better standing up. I can hold the pen better." It's a pretty lengthy application sir "It's okay I go to the gym everyday, well sometimes. Okay not everyday." Blank stare.......



7. Is this paper part of the application? (Oh that, no that is a trick page that we throw in every application. Congrats on finding it. Your hired)

6. What should I put in the Job History Columns? (Your job history?)

5. "Do I have to fill out the entire application?" (How about you fill out the first half, and then I'll guess the second half. I'm sure you'll get the job:)

4. "Excuse me, how do you spell Dirt?" ..D I R T.. "Oh duh I knew that." (Then why did you still write DURT on your application)

3. (Some dude referring to Easter baskets sitting on a shelf at work)"I just love Easter baskets. Those look like really great baskets. Where did you get those? I can't decide what to get my kids for Easter. Can I steal one of those baskets from you? I don't even know what to get my girlfriend for Easter. My Ex wife was always really easy to shop for. I always got her the best presents. She divorced me so I don't think she liked everything I bought her. Ungrateful huh?" (..Uhhh Blah Blah Blah)

2. Being starred at by a guy with a lazy eye magnified by a thick pair of bifocals. (Creeeeeepyyyyy)

1. "Hey Miss, How do you spell a million?" ..M I L L I O N.. "No, like the Zeroes. How do you spell that?" .. A 1 with 6 zeroes after it.. (Wow, Seriously?)

It's so true...

So I have never been into Signs and all that jazz like a lot of people are, but today my corworker Rachel showed me hers. So I asked her to show me mine. Hahahahahahaha WTF. This is totally me, minus the creepy picture:)

PISCES - The Partner for Life

Caring and kind. Smart. Always the center of attention. Messy at times and irresponsible! Smart but lazy. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Passionate, wonderful lovers. Fun to be around. Too trusting at times and gets hurt easily. Lover of animals. VERY caring, can make wonderful nurses or doctors. They always try to do the right thing but sometimes get the short end of the stick. They sometimes get used by others and hurt because of their trusting. Extremely weird but in a good way! Great Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. Good friend to others but needs to be choosy on who they allow their friends to be.

Oh yes we did!!!!!!!!!

Me too Brit. I will forever be a fan!

Fun Fact

Hi my name is Adam Lambert Jonas. Some of you might recognize me from American Idol, but what you don't know is that I am the older brother of the Jonas Brothers. What can I say, they learned from the best. I taught them how to kind of sing and to dress like females. Please don't vote for me if you like good music.

a few fam piXures

The Brown Lances and a few white boys

Zion Zakary

Elijah Zane

Ethan Michael

Remember that Rick?!?!

Doctors. What do they know.

How about we talk about how in the last year I have been “diagnosed” with two of the most unfortunate syndromes ever. To me at least. Honestly like who wants to have this always around. I mean always. First off I found out that I have Viral Pharyngitis Syndrome. What’s that you ask. Basically it is an incurable sore throat. WTF. Yeah they exist. It can be triggered by a number of things at any time. I can’t control it. It flares up whenever it wants too. In my case it’s brought on by Allergies. And what happens in the summer for most people????? Allergies!! I have really bad allergies. As in last summer I had at least 5 separate horrific sore throats. These aren’t just mild sore throats. They are like sore throats that make you want to scratch your eyeballs out or give yourself paper cuts in between your fingers. Strep like I guess. Although I would rather have strep throat once and call it good for the year then to have them over and over again. When the “on call” doctor told me I had this I kind of just starred at her and was like WTF. Your kidding. Where’s my real doctor? Is there anything you can do for me? NO? Great just another thing to make me hate summer even more. Yaaay can’t wait for blistering hot weather, pollen to be just flying up my nose, giving me the sneezies and a sore throat from hell. Booo.

So on Tuesday when I was at the gym lifting, my poor little foot was kind of aching. Well I love running and do it everyday. So after weights I went into the cardio cinema and was thinking, man my foot hurts. Oh well, I can run on it anyways. So I did. 3 miles later, I was in absolute pain. On top of all this I am very sick. I have been in complete misery this week. I had no idea what was going on. The pain in my foot wasn’t a sprain, cause I am an expert at sprained ankles. So yesterday I went to the foot doctor and got some x-rays to see what is going on. My life. “Kim you have what we call Accessory Navicular Syndrome.” Uh What? Apparently, I was born with spare parts. EXTRA ankle bones. WTF. Basically I can sprain my ankle every single step I take. This extra bone, for the last 24 years has been forcing me to walk on the outside of my feet so it’s easier to roll. I had no idea I was doing this. This is not part of normal bone structure, so it’s very rare. He asked me if I have ever had a problem with sprained ankles. I told him that when I was a teenager and played basketball, I would sprain my ankles 5 or 6 times every time I set foot on the court. Holy crow is this finally answering my questions of why I would sprain them so much. I thought it was cause of my shoes. Boy was I wrong. People can go all there life without having flare ups. He said that when they find people with the accessory navicular bone, they find them in athletic teenage girls. Well that was me in high school. I guess with my certain situation if there are any fractures or tears in my foot, I have to wait a week to find out. As in I have to be in more pain for the next week until I get another x-ray. WTF WTF WTF. My life right. I can barely walk on my foot without going nutso. I’m getting use to being called gimp or “TF”. I hope that the non surgical treatments work cause I don’t want surgery. On both ankles….I’m thinking I’ll need a wheelchair. If that ends up happening, Disneyland here I come. Oh and to change the subject a little, “Hey Chris Brown, like don’t hit Rihanna.”

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I got one for all of you. Ya know what irritates me? Why is it that whenever we have to log on to something, leave a comment on somebody’s blog, or purchase tickets on line, we have to type in a word verification. WTF why? Seriously it is just a waste of time. An extra inconvenient step. I’m pretty lazy so it frustrates me every time. The words don’t even make any sense. Like what kind of words are they. First of all they shouldn’t call it a word verification, they should call it a letter slash number verification cause their just a bunch of nonsense not actual words. Like what is BESS7ENTH, T23RIGHUM, VESOP56Y, or today I got a good one. MUVVRIT9. Like what the heck is that. Sometimes the words are smashed together and you can’t even read it. Then you type it in wrong, not only making you have to type in a new idiotic word, but it also makes you feel like an absolute idiot. Don’t act like you all don’t know what I am talking about. We’ve all done this before. My question is why all of a sudden do we have to do this moronic thing. Why the big change. And yes if you were wondering I do feel pretty strongly about this matter. I’m pist.

PS. When you leave me a comment, I hope you get the stupid verification WRONG!!

It could happen to you

Why is it that no matter where you are or what you are doing, there are always lame, idiotic people that can ruin everything. Last night me and my gal pal Jen Jen Jen went to go and watch a movie. We were so excited to see this new movie. He’s Just Not That Into You. It was really great. I loved everything about it. Funny. Dramatic. Perfect chick flick. We had a fun time watching it too. Oh wait…..how could I have enjoyed it fully. There were other people involved. There was a lady one person over to the right, clapping at every damn thing. David Beckham behind me kicking the crap out of my chair. Slippery hands to the back right kept dropping the same empty water bottle creating this annoying noise that irked me to the core. Oh and must we discuss the relief society that was having enrichment night in the middle section of the movie theatre. Seriously shut the crapola up. Your in a freak’n movie. Have a little respect. This is a huge pet peeve of mine. As a self declared movie expert, critic, GENIUS. I don’t take movie going very lightly. Who doesn’t love to go and chill out in a theatre waiting to see a new flick. I know I love it. If you don’t, then your not a friend of mine. And YES I did just judge you. Don’t worry that this is not the first time a movie has been ruined by morons. Example A: New Years Eve. Junior Year. We were watching Kate & Leopold (excellent movie by the way) as soon as the clock turned midnight, at a very soft, sentimental part of the movie, some jack ass yelled, “Happy New Year.” Are you kidding me. Save it for someone not enjoying a nice show. That was 7 years ago and I am still pist. Moral of the story is this. You go to a movie to actually watch the movie and not converse during the show.. At all. No kicking anyones seats, please no clapping, and if you are done with your drink, don’t play with it. Set it down. It’s called common sense people!!!

Oh Coco.....

An EDITED blog worthy email I received from my dear friend Coco!!

"So can I just tell you that I have almost gotten
in 3 car accidents today? And I'm not even a drama queen over exaggerator
about it, I LITERALLY have almost been hit by 3 people. 

Scenario #1- driving by subway on redwood road by my house in that
area, passing the entrance to the parking lot, DUMB@*$# BI$&@ in a SUV
decides she's just gonna roll on out and doesn't look to her left to see if
anyone is coming down the road. BEEP BEEP COCO IS!

Scenario #2- driving on the freeway, I-215 to be exactly, DUMB@*$# BI$&@
in a Honda on my left needs to get over into my lane and doesn't check
her blind spot to see if anyone is there. BEEP BEEP COCO IS!

Scenario #3- taking Angie on an errand so she can pick up her Sundance
Film Festival tickets. Pull into the parking lot, wait...., wait some
more...., Angie gets in the car I go to back out and a DUMB@*$# BI$&@ 
and/or BA$#&RD in a Toyota Camry are backing out and don't check to
see If someone is behind them. BEEP BEEP COCO IS!!!!!!!!

I think the universe is trying to tell me something."

If it's possible I heart you even more Cocoummmm!!

Excellent throwage…

It’s been two weeks into the year and already I have declared my favorite moment. There is nothing better than a great, unexpected conversation. To be a witness to this conversation was an honor. But to actually be involved in it, was absolutely amazing. Today I was busy at work when a fellow coworker came up behind me with a question that would leave me in awe. And it went something like this….

Hey Kim I have a weird question for ya..
Okay..
Do you speak Laos?
What?
Do you speak Laos?
Um do you speak Gibberish? What kind of a question is that?
I just thought that you might.
Why cause I’m asian?
I need to collect a bill from this guy and he doesn’t speak English. He speaks Laos..
What am I suppose to do? Have I ever spoke Laos to you? Any other language for that matter?
Well no, but I don’t know the things you learn in schools these days.
????????????HAHA???????????????????????????WTF???????????????????????????????????
???????????????????WTF???????????????????????????HAHA????????????????????????WTF

So do I speak Laos? Yeah I do. I learned it when I was born in America to a Filipino mother and a white father. No I don’t speak Laos. I can’t even speak the language of my ancestors let alone a completely different country. Am I mad….NO. Am I hurt….NO. Am I impressed with the fantastic throwage of the first racial card of the year….I guess I am!! Well played, well played.